Writing the Voice of Action

R.C.Blyth
Jun 8
8 min read

Newsletter 7. June. 2025

Stay in touch, read behind the scenes, and learn about the writer–author's journey—progress through the art of communication.

writing to show action is important when writing. — ‘showing’ and ‘active’ in writing equate to immersing your story with action. But how important is this? And should it always be used? Read more.

What's Writing Voice All About?

In this newsletter, I focus on the standard references—‘showing’ and ‘active’ in writing. ‘Showing’ is paired with ‘telling’, while ‘passive’ is paired with ‘active’.

Creating a Page Turner

Most serious authors will recognise the importance that editors bring to their work. Once we decide what we want to convey in our story, there is a necessity to allow the plot to unfold and immerse the reader. I value editors for the simple reason that author immersion can obscure errors in writing as well as highlight poor development within the story we hope to tell. We aim to create a page-turner.

Here are two examples of showing writing voice:

‘The sounds of downtown Hong Kong attacked their ears. Traffic lights sounded more like a hammering-out musical crotchet. As the lights changed to green, the beats intensified. Simon explained that the rhythm was adjusted to aid the blind.’

From Fatal Contracts. The Mysterious Affair (2023). RC Blyth.

The original beta reader focused on this paragraph in my earlier draft of the story, first written in 2017. As my initial attempt at writing fiction, this was the only part of the book that resonated with him. The rest contained too much exposition and showed little potential without serious editing. Consequently, I had to investigate the concept of showing, and as a novice fiction author, reading and writing were the only ways to improve my skill at wordcraft.

In this second example, we have a different form of action. There is some dialogue, as well as a mix of telling and showing. The editor in this case found the paragraph illustrated, enticing, although they praised much of the storyline.

‘Tullio loved showing off his knowledge. “Yes, the talons have claws at the back of the foot, and they are large enough to catch and hold onto their prey.”

The bird had come in from the sea and scanned the mountains and river gorges. A jackdaw appeared. The eagle suddenly launched into the air, and the power in its wings was revealed as it weaved. Coming from below, it snatched the black bird in its sharp talons and flew onwards.

From The Honourable Sicilian. Unpublished. RC Blyth — currently being worked on as a series. Watch this space.

Should we always show and not tell?

Many new writers become anxious about showing rather than telling. In many ways, there is nothing wrong with telling, but in storytelling, the reader does not want to become bogged down. Reams of telling, where facts and unnecessary writing accumulate, might achieve such an undesirable effect. Nothing we write should exist without purpose. If something is included, we must ensure there is a reason for it and use it accordingly.

Pace

The medium of telling helps provide facts, and showing allows us to experience what the characters see, feel, and hear.

The traffic lights in Hong Kong made a specific noise, and Simon informed his wife of the purpose. This provides a scene in which the couple exist, so we have a realistic setting for that one story beat.

In the second scene, Tullio explains to his new wife, Oriana, the wonders of the local Sicilian fauna. In doing so, we create action and a sense of location. Too much of one form over another can bog down the flow, so mixing tell and show can work well. Writing is as much about pace, when to give detail and when to move the story forward.

A narrative summary without settings offers less immersion than when the readers relate to the text. The second subtle aspect involves allowing the reader to fill in the gaps. Provide sufficient information, but leave interpretation to the reader. As we read, we conjure different shapes and perceive characters uniquely; this aspect of interpretation is a natural human trait.

Experience Counts

Successful writers are often those who have experienced and immersed themselves in various places and times, faced hardships—referred to as conflict—and convey sensory expressions in their writing. Furthermore, thorough research lends legitimacy to a story.

Another way to view storytelling is to create scenes that establish a clear setting. The scene might occur in a single room or a bustling town. As Monica Wood describes in her book, 'Description’, showing and telling are the heart and soul of description.

Ms Wood provides a snapshot of the use of keywords, as in this example:

Mrs. Brimley went into Ms. Kendall’s classroom.

Mrs. Brimley sneaked into Ms. Kendall’s classroom.

Mrs. Brimley lurched into Ms. Kendall’s classroom.

As writers, we craft words, using rich and varied language, conveying much more than simplicity. "Sneaked" and "lurched" illustrate the passive, against the feeble use of "went," which stems from the verb "to go." Sneaking and lurching offer a method of movement which has greater reader interest.

We have to decide what to show and what to tell, but directing writing to one form alone can be fatal. Many budding authors immerse themselves in this pseudo-mystique of showing, which also clogs the writing. The pace slows, and the reader turns off.

Dialogue

The subject of speaking can fill pages with explanatory methods, but the crucial part of dialogue is that it shows and provides activity between characters, including feelings, harmony, and conflict. Character development offers an excellent way to bring people to life. Melina Grezzargo, in my current book, still on the computer, speaks good English but twists the words around, offering the reader sympathy.

Avoid heavy dialogue if you wish to quicken the pace. However, climactic scenes can still include dialogue, but it should be conveyed in shorter sentences, with action described to embody a sense of pathos.

The example shown comes from Fatal Contracts. The Mysterious Affair (2023). RC Blyth, illustrating the tension building in the final scene. The asterisks indicate a change in scene, rather than marking the 'beats' (also see the reading at the end). In some books, readers will find extremely short chapters attempting the same process of moving the story on in a way to minimise confusion between each scene. I see no reason why a book cannot adopt a film script approach for scenes, but dialogue alone would not be advisable.

Fatal Contracts - A Mysterious Affair. — Simon's workshop, where he is startled by Joe's appearance. Description attempts to provide a picture, such as a run-down shed.

The kettle seemed to boil slowly, but at last, Alison heard the whistle. ‘Won’t be long, my honey bunch,’ she said, ‘and we can have that nice cuppa. Now, where are those chocolate biscuits Simon likes? Mind you, I’d better be careful, as his waist has crept up if I say so myself!’

Simon had seen enough blood in his career as a surgeon to know this was not normal. The colour had splashed liberally down the Jerry can. He looked around and saw a chainsaw. ‘Ah, I guess this is why the petrol can is here, as it would have to be fuel-driven.’

He opened the polyethene fuel tank. After unscrewing the cap, it dangled from a chain. Peering inside, he sniffed. The light caught the colour of the chainsaw. The words on the side appeared obscured by more blood, though the cruel chain itself was otherwise clean. He was startled by a voice and turned to the source.

‘I cleaned most of that up after the accident.’

‘Joe, Christ almighty, you startled me. Don’t go creeping up on people. My heart's not young anymore,’ reprimanding Joe, after his shock at the sudden appearance of the big man.

‘Thought I had better come back. I thought you might like some dry wood.’

‘You can say that again,’ Simon nodded in agreement. She brought some logs from the garage, but I doubt they'll dry before tomorrow. Why they don’t store them somewhere dry, I’ll never know.’

‘I’ve got a dry tree in the back of the truck, it'll be reasonably seasoned. Right, we need to cut it up a bit more, and then you can use it tonight.’

Joe's muscles bulged as he hauled the tree out of his Land Rover with ease.

‘Bring that chainsaw over. I checked it over. It’s been tested and ready to go,’ he announced confidently.

‘You pour the fuel mix in while I get my axe,’ Joe said, returning to his vehicle.

The shadow moved fluidly, hovering, and came into the light. The aura brightened, increasing to a blinding light. A silvery figure matched the height of the dark shadow. The two appeared as coloured chess pieces bound together.

‘All done,’ said Simon.

‘Right, fire it up,’ said Joe…

‘Alison heard the first turn of the motor and froze! It took her ages to comprehend where the noise had come from. Her face lost all its colour as dread flushed through her stomach.

The image in white disappeared and became black. Death looked on…

‘Nooooo!’ Alison screamed. She raced out of the kitchen and down the steps three at a time, nearly stumbling.

The noise of the chainsaw settled into a steady rhythm, the spark plug now firing smoothly. The motor roared, and the chain moved, allowing its cruel teeth to engage the wood.

A flash of white appeared again, dulling Death’s image, but nothing could stop the bang as the chainsaw whirred out of control. The man holding the chainsaw fell dead instantly, the wound a mortal one from which no one could survive.’

I needed to make the story move as quickly as possible, so I switched between the kitchen and the workshop to build the tension. A third person (white light) also appeared as part of the supernatural aspect of the story. (This passage has been edited.)

A common way to reflect on writing — Ways in which to express words in a sentence highlight the subject.

The Voice of Writing

The difference between active and passive comes down to the use of the verb. Passive includes a form of the verb be—such as is, was, or has been but these words can emphasise that an action has taken place. Overuse of such words requires keeping their use to a minimum.

Here are two sentences that also illustrate the difference between passive and active voices. In many ways, in sentence building, we tend to marry them together with show and tell.

‘Sarah fried the egg.’ (Sarah is the subject - passive).

‘Sarah’s egg started to fry.’ (The egg is now the subject -active because the egg is frying).

As with show and tell, often expressed as show, don’t tell, we are trying to create a sense of action when writing, so all the senses can become embroidered into the story to add interest.

Many writers excel in this aspect of writing, but most must learn the guidelines to do so. Some rules may be broken, but in this era of commercial writing, publishers maintain a singular perspective on how they perceive stories. The term commercial is intentional, as no publisher will invest in a story that is unlikely to attract financial interest. Many publishers miss golden opportunities.

In many ways, there is a sadness around commercial writing because there are many who can write well, inform and present an excellent story, but if it does not conform to specific ideas couched as rules, then the chances of formal publication diminish.

A book of nine short stories. Can you work out the twist? — Nine short stories contain thrillers, black comedy and supernatural experiences from across the world. Can you work out the twist before the end?

There is no shortage of material to help guide the reader, and this has made writing and indeed self-publishing much easier than in the past. Would-be authors are advised to seek out reliable sources and avoid Vanity & Hybrid Press publishers.

References

Description. The elements of Fiction Writing. Monica Wood. Writer’s Digest Books. 1995. pp25

Fatal Contracts. Shocking Short Stories with a sting in the tale. The Mysterious Affair (2023). RC Blyth 2023. Busypencilcase Communications & publishing. Amazon Books. pp21-39.